"Laughter", a Doug Update, and an ERTCC Plug

Laughter

Weeks ago, Erin asked if I would write a guest blog post. What an honor to be invited into this exchange of the good, bad, ugly, and the beastly. How could one not accept, especially when we decided jointly that a blog on laughter might be just what the spirit specialist ordered. No matter how beastly the cancer is, the spirit is irrepressible. Even on days when the spirit is entangled in anger, fear, and doubt, laughter bubbles up giving hope some breathing room. 


How does one laugh when wrestling with a beast every single day? Doug developed a rallying cry early in this journey. Slay the beast. The statement has become a mantra in our house, repeated daily as a prayer request. There is nothing funny about it. The whole situation seems fraught with despair until we laugh. And laugh we do. 


I don’t know much about laughter from a scientific perspective. I know that when I really laugh hard I cry. Some people laugh so hard they pee themselves, or so I’m told. Others snort when they laugh. I remember laughing in the middle of family prayers so hard that the praying had to stop. Every now and then it still happens, especially when Greg prays. None of this seemed scholarly enough to base a blog on. 


Research was called for. My first hit, was an article from Cambridge University. They published The Uses of Laughter in Greek Culture, but the abstract had so many big words I didn’t understand it. One sentence had sixty-eight words in it and by the end of the sentence I had forgotten what the beginning said. 


After setting aside the Cambridge article I found another on laughter and its role in helping couples deal with cancer. I thought I had hit the jackpot until I read the abstract. The abstract stated, "A diagnosis of cancer may result in both the patient and their partner experiencing psychological distress." “May result…” seriously people? Obviously, the author hadn’t been near a cancer diagnosis. One sarcastic chuckle later, I moved along. 


More digging revealed laughter was linked to the treatment of cancer, Parkinson’s, depression, and more. My research led me to laughter yoga and to Norman Cousins’ book titled, Anatomy of an Illness as Perceived by the Patient, chronicling his personal experience with laughter and ankylosing spondylitis. Cousins’ experience led to a new field of study called psychoneuroimmunology. It was evident laughter and humour were under the researchers’ microscopes as they tried to quantify and correlate laughing to health benefits. 

None of my research led me to the holy grail of laughter until I happened on Sophie Scott's Ted talk. She spoke about how we use laughter in relationships to make each other feel better. She touched on how laughter is deeper and richer when shared with those we care for. Her talk highlighted laughing with others lets us access an evolutionary system that helps us regulate how we feel and makes us feel better, together. Scott spoke about the importance of relationships to the sincerity and involuntariness of laughter. 


The stronger the relationship, the freer we are to laugh with abandon from deep within our bellies. When we laugh the doubt and fear are squeezed out of us with each breath, if only for a few healing moments. Faith and hope slip into the space laughter leaves behind as doubt and fear abate. 


Right in the middle of despair or between tears, laughter will erupt. Sometimes it will be awkward. It might feel inappropriate, or appear so to outsiders. You might stand on the sidelines wondering if we should be laughing even as we cry. Well, dammit yes. We will keep laughing because “A merry heart does good like medicine.” Proverbs 17:22.

- Joy Monsma (Doug's sister-in-law)

Update from Doug

“Never underestimate the importance of having a person in your life who can always make you smile!”

I thought it appropriate that on a blog focused on the gift of laughter that a bit of a chuckle was necessary.   Although our family has many funny people and we laugh often, the most reliable smile generator is grandson Kase!  He is playful and loves life, always exploring, moving, and pointing at all the amazing things that he sees.  These are great qualities, unless you are taking him on a walk!   Enjoy his reading debut, as he travelled to Tofino for a family holiday. 

A quick update on slaying the beast!  Many of you will be relieved to know that I am no longer travelling commando as the shingles have been defeated!  I am very thankful that we caught them early and the medicine worked effectively.  I have also completed another round of chemo and tolerated it quite well.  I had another MRI a few days ago and will get the results back on my next visit to the Cross on July 18.  Please pray for positive news, that the beast be continuing to be slain and that the next weeks be peaceful as we wait for the news.  This routine of an MRI every 2-months will likely continue for some time but is still something that seems surreal and will likely always cause worry and uncertainty.  Tara told me that I needed to get used to it as I will be doing it for 30 years!  Hope so!

Once again, our family thanks you for your love and prayers!

- Doug 

Enbridge Ride to Conquer Cancer (ERTCC)

And after that awesome blog post, I have the pleasure of asking you for money! In mid-August, five of the immediate family members (Derek, Leanne, Ben, Matthew, and Erin) plus some extended family members and friends will be biking in the Enbridge Ride to Conquer Cancer. Each team member has a goal of raising $2,500 dollars so that they can participate in the race. See more info on the general ride here (link to donate to our team members below). Please consider donating to the ride as many of us are still a long way from reaching our goal. Good news is, you also get a donation receipt! If you'd like to donate, you can do that here. 

- Erin