By now, everyone in this room will be well aware that our Dad was
a teacher. In light of this, we thought it fitting for us to recount some of
the many lessons that we learned from our Dad over the years.
Lesson #1: Exceed expectations. When my Dad was first diagnosed,
we always talked about Dougler the Outlier. We knew that my Dad had the
greatest chance at beating the odds because he didn’t fit into the mold. There
are all those people that make up the average, and then there was my Dad, way
out there, because he was so far from the norm. In almost everything that he
did, he went above and beyond what was expected of him. He excelled at so many
things because he tried to use his gifts to glorify God in all areas of his
life.
Lesson #2: Be generous with your time and talents. Our Dad was
always so willing to help paint a home, shingle a house, or lay some sod. He
was so good at these types of things and he was such a hard worker. He also
helped to make these types of tasks so much fun. I spent a week painting the
entire interior of my condo with my Dad and, despite the whole painting thing,
I have such fond memories of that time.
Lesson #3: Love your partner, love your kids and love your
grandkids. Our Dad loved our Mom so much. He was her biggest fan, and that’s
saying something, because she has a lot of fans. It was so incredible to see
them together. They were such a united team. My Dad never spoke negatively
about our Mom to us and vise versa. It was actually kind of annoying because we
could never use them against each other. Our Dad also loved us, his kids, so
unconditionally and so deeply.
Lesson #4: Babes marry babes. This little nugget of wisdom came
from my Dad on Sunday night while he was lying in the ER. His eyes were closed
and he appeared to be sleeping but he overheard Leanne commenting about the
beautiful colour of his eyes and telling my Mom that she married a babe.
To that, my Dad murmured “Babes marry babes”. Seems reasonable.
Lesson #5: When you make a presentation, or any time you really
need to get a point across, talk with your hands.
Lesson #6: Be slow to speak and use your words cautiously. My Dad
would typically hold off on offering his opinion or analysis on something until
everyone else finished offering their opinion or analysis first. It always
appeared as though he wouldn’t offer his opinion until he had a chance to hear
and consider everyone else’s opinion and point of view. When he did offer his
opinion, the opinion would always be so full of insight and wisdom. Everyone
always says “think before you speak”, but this is something that my Dad truly
did and it was so obvious.
Lesson #7: Be thankful in all
circumstances. Throughout the past couple of years, my Dad thanked God
for all of the blessings that God continued to put in our lives. My Dad
had so many opportunities to be angry with God. The cancer, two surgeries, an
inability to do the job that he was so gifted at – the beast was so much
greater than the illness. But my Dad remained thankful throughout and his
prayers were filled with praise and thanksgiving.
Lesson #8: If you say something somewhat plausible with a
reasonable amount of conviction, there’s a good chance that others will believe
you when you say it. To this day, I don’t know if half of the things my Dad
told me were true or not.
Lesson#9: If there’s a joke to make, make it. Don’t ever let the
extreme corniness of the joke stop you and don’t be limited by what is
apparently “appropriate”.
Lesson #10: Don’t speak negatively about people. When there
are four females in your family, there is a lot of gossip and catty-talk going
on. And my Dad never participated in that. He refused to join in on our
gossip-sessions and he was a silent reminder that we should close our mouths
and quit saying negative things about others.
Lesson #11: Always look for the best in people. When I was in High
School, my Dad was the vice principal. In this capacity, he got to know quite a
few of my classmates and in particular, the ones that I might describe as
“troublemakers”. However, whenever these classmates came up, my Dad would
always say something like “Oh so-and-so, he’s a super nice kid” or “he’s got a
great sense of humour”. My Dad challenged me to see certain classmates as more
than just “troublemakers” or “bad kids”. He made the effort to find the best in
everyone and then chose to focus on the good instead of the bad.
Lesson #12: Everything you have is from God. Through conversations
and debates, my Dad taught me that everything I have is from God and should be
used to glorify Him. I remember one time in particular when our family had a
discussion about tithing. My Dad gently reminded me that God had given me the
skills, gifts, and talents that allowed me to work and therefore all of my
earnings were a direct result of God and through no work of my own.
Lesson #13: Don’t worry about what other people think. My Dad was
so comfortable in his own skin. He didn’t worry about trying to impress others
and he never apologized for who he was. At the same time, he was one of the
most humble and gracious people I have ever known. He had an easy and
understated way of just being himself. Our friends remember coming to my
parents’ house and seeing my Dad ironing clothes while watching TV or watching
him brush Erin’s hair into a ponytail. While those things maybe aren’t so
uncommon now, it was pretty uncommon to see a Dad doing those types of things
around the house back then. Our Dad would put his best effort forth and didn’t
care about the limits that others would put on him.
Lesson #14: If in junior high, you regularly go to the high school
gym to practice something called a “hook shoot”, you might go on to become the
star of a college basketball team. Or a mediocre high school athlete as the
case may be. But still.
Lesson #15: In life, you may eventually find yourself on the shore
of cold and dark waters. When this time comes, do not look for a way around the
water. Instead, take off all of your clothes, stripping down until only your
Costco gonch remain, and then hold your clothes high above your head and walk
right through the water. Meet your future sons-in-law,
who simply walked around the cold and dark waters, on the other side.
Lesson #16: Death is nothing to fear. My Dad also taught us this
on Sunday evening. He was so ready to meet his Maker. He spent so much of
Sunday night murmuring “Time to go. Time to go. Time to go.” I think he may
have been a little bit disappointed whenever he opened his eyes and saw seven
of us staring back at him, instead of being greeted by God’s face. It got to
the point that he prayed “Dear God, I know this is a bit pushy but I am ready.”
Watching my Dad pass away was so hard but also so beautiful – it was comforting
to see how ready he was for heaven and I couldn’t help but be excited for him
to be healed and be in the presence of the Lord.
Lesson #17: Say yes. If someone asks you to go out for
dinner or on a trip or for a hike, a bike ride or a game of golf, accept the
invitation. My Dad was always game for anything and this resulted in him coming
along on a lot of dates with Ben and me, or perhaps more accurately, on me
going along on a lot of dates with Ben and my Dad.
Lesson #18: The best way to embarrass your high-school aged child
is to sing “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” over the intercom system during morning
announcements.
Lesson #19: Learn from others. Occasionally, our Sunday family
dinners would get a bit heated. There was never a full-out brawl but we would
be arguing back and forth across the table. My Dad was usually silent during
these disagreements. Once, after a particularly divisive conversation between
us girls, we left my parents’ house feeling a bit upset and angry. And then we
got a text from my Dad. He told us that he loved that we could have these types
of conversations as a family, and that it is so neat that we are all trying to
learn from each other instead of trying to “win” the debate. I don’t think any
of us were trying to “learn” that evening but my Dad was so good at reminding
us about how we should be behaving instead of admonishing us outright.
Lesson #20: Live your life in such a way that, by the time you
die, your girls can be ready for you to go, in the sense that you’ve taught
them all of these lessons and more. At the same time, however, be so awesome
that even though your girls may be ready for you to go, they can’t stand for
you to go because they will miss you so, so, so much.
It’s impossible to sum up who my Dad was, or what he meant to us.
He was truly an incredible man and the kind and heartfelt words that many of
you have extended to us over the past week have reinforced this. He was by no
means perfect. Just ask my Mom. He could never remember that the dishtowel was
supposed to be folded in quarters and the hand towel was supposed to be folded
in thirds. However, while not a perfect man, he was the perfect Dad for
us.
He was a wonderful reflection of God’s light. He was fun, he was
wise, he was insightful, he was kind, he was steady, he was dependable, he was
loving, he was good. He filled our lives with all of these things and, through
the lessons that he taught us, he will continue to spread his light.
So what a life to celebrate! Thank you so much for joining us here
today to celebrate our Dad. Thank you also for all of your kind words,
thoughtful prayers and big hugs. We so appreciate your support. We love him so
much and we want to thank every single person here today for loving him, too.
