Bold Prayer and Almighty God

Yesterday morning, my Dad, my Mom and I met with the oncologist at the Cross Cancer Institute.  We were expecting that our discussion would focus around the chemo options for my Dad going forward.  When the oncologist had told us that the tumour was growing at our last meeting, he had also said that my Dad would need to switch to a new chemo because the chemo he was currently on obviously wasn't working.

So the three of us were shocked yesterday to hear that there was definitely something killing cancer cells!  The oncologist told us that the pathologist had to analyze my Dad's results twice because they were so irregular.  When the oncologist, pathologist, and surgeon had gotten together yesterday morning, they couldn't believe how unusual my Dad's tumour was - in a good way!  These types of tumours are notoriously hard to beat because the cancer cells aren't very sensitive to treatment, so we were surprised to hear that 50% of the tumour that they removed was made-up of dead cancer cells!  This means that some combination of chemo, ketogenic diet, and other natural supplements, in conjunction with everyone’s prayers, is working!  God has been putting all of these different options to work and they have been doing their jobs!  The oncologist wants my Dad to keep taking the same chemo for the time being but instead of taking it for 5 days in a row every 28-day period, he will take a smaller dose everyday.  My Dad has been tolerating this chemo well so we pray that he continues to respond and tolerate it well when he is now going to get a daily dose.

The oncologist also told us that they can't be sure if the cancer cells that were still alive are residual cells left from his first surgery or if the cancer is growing.  But when we heard that the surgeon was very confident in this surgery (our oncologist told us that if the surgeon was the bragging-type, he would definitely be bragging), it gave us more hope that all of the cancer cells were removed this time and that going forward, the treatment can prevent cancer growth instead of killing off the remaining cancer cells.

It was an awesome day with a HUGE answer to prayer.  A couple of weeks ago, my Dad said that he was praying that the surgeons would open him up and find no evidence of cancer.  We started to pray for the same thing, knowing that God can perform miracles but also realizing that this was a bold plea.  So to hear that 50% of this treatment-resistant tumour was dead cancer cells?  MIRACLE!  God's touch is evident in every area of my Dad's treatment thus far and to have such a loud answer to such a bold prayer is amazing.

- Tara

Home!

My Dad was discharged from the hospital yesterday afternoon.  Great news!  He can finally get some good sleep now that he is out of the craziness of the hospital.  We are so thankful that he is already home and doing so well.

After family dinner this evening, we talked about flowers and weeds for the week.  A huge flower for the week was the success of the surgery and the amazing healing that my Dad has experienced thus far.  We thought that he had been stellar coming out of his first surgery, but this time he was walking around earlier, pushing Ben around in a wheelchair earlier (yep, you read that right), and he was discharged from the hospital earlier.  It is so cool to see my Dad doing so well - what an amazing answer to prayer!  My Mom is also thankful that my Dad greeted her post-surgery with the words "An angel!" instead of the words he used the first time: "Who are you?"

My Dad shared tonight how neat those first words out of his mouth actually are.  He said that right before he was taken into surgery, he was thinking of things to say to my Mom and decided to say something about angels.  But he didn't actually expect that he would remember what he had planned to say in his post-surgery, post-anaesthesia state.  So the fact that he remembered what he had planned is a testament to how well my Dad has been doing post-surgery.

We ask that you continue to pray for healing, for bold courage, and for a miracle.  We also ask that you pray for strength and comfort for my parents as they "start fresh" with the healing process.  Life had gotten into a bit of a normal rhythm for them and surgery throws that upside-down, with my Dad being unable to drive, run errands, and do as much around the house as he has been doing.  So we would love for you to pray for peace and comfort for them as they adjust to a different daily routine for the next few months.

Thank you so much for all of your prayers - we feel them on a daily basis!

- Tara

Surgery II Update

This morning we arrived at the hospital at 8:30. After getting into his uniform that he'll wear the next few days (a lovely dress), we waited for a few hours before someone came to take our Dad for surgery.

Erin, Loretta, Doug, Leanne, Tara

He went in for surgery at 12:00 and we got to see him again around 5:00. Dr. Mehta, who performed the surgery, stopped by to say he was happy with how the surgery went and that he would check-in again in the morning.

Thank you for your continued support and prayers through this day. We ask again that you pray God has performed a miracle and the pathology report says that the mass is not cancerous.  We also ask you to pray alongside us that he recovers well and speedily.

Sweet toque!

Major Beast-Slaying on Wednesday

My Dad learned today that he needs to check in for surgery tomorrow, Wednesday, November 22, at 8:30 in the morning. 

Please join us in praying hard that the surgery goes ahead as scheduled, that the surgery goes extremely well, and that my Dad heals quickly and beautifully. 

We know that God performs miracles. Please also join us in praying that the tumour no longer be cancerous, or even that the tumour no longer be there!

Outrageous Bravery and Hope

Please pray for outrageous bravery and hope.

Meanings of the word “outrageous” - excessive or shockingly bad? How about bold, unusual or startling?

It has been another very hard week for us!  We have been busy praying about and pursuing next steps. This is exhausting. We research options and talk with “experts” but usually hear things that are discouraging or offer little hope. There aren't really any treatment plans that have had any long-term success. This makes figuring out next steps difficult. So we pray for a healing miracle, that the beast may be slain, and for guidance, that God will make the path through this maze clear.

In the last blog we asked that you focus your prayers on the Tocagen clinical trial - that it would be reopened, that I would meet the participant criteria and that God’s guidance would be clear! They had initially suggested that it would be 2 - 3 weeks before we would hear anything about the trial. It was closed at the time and needed FDA approval in the USA before it could reopen. The local ethics committee also needed to approve the change to the trial for it to be reopened in Edmonton. Within 48 hours of our request for your prayers we were invited to a meeting with the head of the trial in Edmonton.  We were then told that the trial had been reopened, far sooner than expected.  We thanked God for this answer to our prayers and the clear direction! About 12 hours later Loretta and I had another 2 hour meeting to sign consent forms for the study - just over 20 pages of requirements and possible side effects, including permanent hair loss. We had a family meeting that night to update the kids on the consent form meeting. Everyone agreed that we should move forward with the trial based on a clear sense that God was making this path clear. Again, an answer to prayers, or so we thought.

I was sent for another MRI to confirm that the tumour was still less than 5 cm in size, one of the participant criteria for the trial.  As usual, I used my 45 minutes of MRI time to sing a few praise songs and to do some praying.  I wonder what the technicians think when they hear my stellar voice mixing with the bangs and clangs of the MRI magnets. I am guessing that they turn down the communication microphone and scramble for extra earplugs and headphones like the ones that they supply me for the cacophony symphony of the MRI experience.   Poor folks - people like me are a bit of a job safety hazard.  Strangely, I do not seem to get the same technicians very often;  probably just a scheduling coincidence or perhaps my MRI sessions are being swapped for Christmas day shifts? I thanked God for how He had seemingly moved mountains (the FDA!!) on my behalf to gain entry into the Tocagen trial!  After signing a few post-MRI concert autographs I met with my neuro-surgeon to review my MRI results. It had seemed so clear that God was moving mountains on our behalf with the trial being opened well-ahead of schedule and our prayers being answered so clearly and quickly. It felt like a real punch in the gut when the new MRI revealed that the tumour was now just a couple of hairs wider than the 5 cm maximum.

Tara’s response to this unexpected news shows how we’ve tried to walk through this together in a faithful manner:

“I think it's just a bummer that it seemed like Tocagen was what we should have been doing for awhile. It is hard when it seems like God is leading us down a path but then it doesn't pan out. It would have been easier if we knew that Dad wasn't a candidate from the beginning. But I do trust that God is in control and that Dad not getting into the trial is a God-thing. Although it seems crazy that Dad didn't get in by .06, that is such a small margin that if Dad had a MRI a few days ago, he probably would have been under 5 and been accepted. So I am seeing Dad being JUST over on this specific day as a sign that Tocagen isn't the answer for Dad and God has other plans. I don't feel discouraged at all by this change of plans. I am just bummed because it must be very hard on Dad and Mom to have a plan not work out.”

So now we pray for wisdom and courage and clarity and trust, that we don’t lose our faith and our ability to follow and see God’s leading.  This has shaken me a bit as I was so sure that this was God’s plan - how could I have been so wrong?   But this has also been a faith-building event as we can so clearly see God’s will being done in this story sequence.  We look forward to discovering God’s will and guidance as He reveals the next page (His next page) of our story clearly in the near future as we consider other treatment options.

I have been scheduled for another surgery on Wednesday, so please pray that it proceeds as scheduled and that the surgery goes well and that the healing also be blessed! Unfortunately we won’t find out the actual time until sometime on Tuesday and we will post that here. We ask that, if you are able, you join us in prayer at that time.

We are so thankful for the large and powerful group of prayers on our side!.  We feel your love and care in a very powerful way!

We have a number of treatment option/decisions ahead - please pray for God’s clear hand of direction and guidance and for us to listen carefully.

Steve Bell’s album, Solace for Seasons of Sufferings, has been a real gift in the past week - especially the following song.

“Remember me” Prayer

To You oh Lord do I lift up my soul

You are the only course that I know

When shame denies me a place in Your fold

In Your love remember me

Show me Your road with respect to the truth

Hold not against me the sins of my youth

There's no one to turn to if You don't come through

In Your love remember me

In Your love remember me

In Your love remember me

All because of Your goodness Lord

In Your love remember me

Yahweh confides in the ones who have faith

Shares from the secrets of old so they say

Dare I presume You would treat me the same

In Your love remember me

In Your love remember me

In Your love remember me

All because of Your goodness Lord

In Your love remember me

Show me Your favour Yahweh

Let it never be said that I've trusted in vain

It is Your reputation that makes me outrageously brave

And hold out your mercy to me

Go ahead and correct me for the sake of Your name

It's not much of a thread but my hoping is keeping me sane

Again and again.

In Your love remember me

In Your love remember me

All because of Your goodness Lord

In Your love remember me

If you’d like to listen to the song, you can find the SoundCloud link here.

My favourite lines from the song:

-“It's not much of a thread but my hoping is keeping me sane.”

-”It is your reputation that makes me outrageously brave!”

Please pray that each day God will gift us to be outrageously brave and hopeful.

Tomorrow marks the first anniversary of the beast’s arrival - hard to believe that 12 months have passed.  Here’s the tough question - how do you celebrate/acknowledge an anniversary of such an event? I think we will do so at family dinner tomorrow with a sharing of some flowers and weeds of the past year, followed by a prayer of thanks for how God has been so near throughout the ordeal and a deep cry that the thread of hope be strengthened!

November 11 Update

It has been a very hard week for us!  We have gone from planning on 3 more months of chemo - with the the finish line in sight (although we never expected the beast to go that easily) to a totally new treatment plan.  We have reminded ourselves that while we fully trust and believe in God’s healing power, we need to trust in His timing.  We have had a difficult time “rebooting” ourselves as we seemingly will be starting right from the beginning again, with surgery and more chemo cycles. Another cycle through the wringer!  It was interesting for us to hear from our kids that they had no idea what Loretta was talking about when she said that I was putting us through the wringer before I get better.  They have now seen pictures of wringer washers!

The last blog post asked that you pray that we could be courageous and hopeful as we await the next treatment plan, and that the Tocagen clinical study (http://tocagen.com/) would be reopened, and that I would be deemed to be a suitable candidate.  We expected a timeline of 2-3 weeks before hearing back about the study and about my possible involvement.  Thank you for your prayers as we had a meeting this past Friday with the head of the study in Edmonton. The study has been opened again, much sooner than expected and the doctor thinks that I would meet the study criteria - tall, dark, and handsome!  The trial involves an initial surgery to remove the tumour, which is much smaller than the initial one, and then the injection of a virus into the tumour that can’t be resected. From there it goes Star Wars-science as the Tocagen treatment seeks out the virus and interacts with it to create smart chemo (only 50% of the study participants receive the tocagen drug) that will attack only the GBM in the brain.  Many of you fine friends have suggested that I can ill afford to be losing brain cells! We have decided to take part in the clinical study, if I get accepted.

We sense strongly that God is directing us in this direction. This will likely mean a surgery in November.  It amazes us on a daily basis how God is directing us through this beastly fight, with prayer, support and all kinds of small miracles and Godly fingerprints.  We have the following prayer requests for the next steps (this always seems a bit unnecessary/weird to be so specific when we trust that GOD knows His plan and OUR needs; yet we know that God also invites us to pray with passion and purpose):

Pray that we continue to trust God on this journey and that we move from “can we do it again?" to “we can do it again”.

Pray for God’s continued presence in our life, giving us daily strength and courage.

Pray that the surgery will go well.

Pray that I will qualify for the clinical study and then that I will receive the Tocagen medication.

We will have a number of treatment option/decisions ahead - please pray for God’s clear hand of direction and guidance and for us to listen carefully.

Courage and Comfort

This past week God directed me to this song - Comfort My People - from one of my favourite musicians, Steve Bell.

The lyrics remind me of the powers of God - He seems to be nudging and reminding me:

Doug, do you not know, have you not heard, have you not understood... that I can do this and will provide all that you need!!

I also see God’s creative hand in the Tocagen treatment as well.

Comfort My People

Do you know

Have you not heard

Has it been told you from the first

Have you not understood

From the forming of the earth

He sits enthroned

Above the world

And sets the heavens like a tent

A place for us to live in

A place for all to live

Who has measured the waters

In the hollow of His hands

Do you know

Who has marked off the heavens

With the breath of His word

Do you know

Comfort my people

Comfort my people

Says the Lord

He brought out

The starry host

One by one He called them by name

Why do you still complain

That He doesn’t know your ways

Lift your eyes

And look to see

Who created all of these

And never more complain

That He doesn’t know your ways

If you’d like to listen to the song, you can find it on SoundCloud here.

MRI Update

We met with the oncologist today and learned that the most recent MRI showed that there continues to be some change and that the tumour is growing.  The oncologist believes the tumour is operable, so my Dad will be preparing for surgery within the next month.  After surgery, he will switch to a different form of chemotherapy that will hopefully be more successful at destroying the cancer cells.  My Mom told my Dad that he is sure putting us through the wringer before he gets better!

The oncologist told us about a clinical trial that should be restarting in Edmonton within the next couple of weeks.  This trial also involves surgery but the chemotherapy is delivered differently.  So far, it sounds like the results of the trial have been very promising so we are praying that the trial gets running soon and that my Dad is eligible for the trial.

As another example of how God continues to walk with us on this journey, today assured us again that He has blessed us with an attentive and proactive oncologist. Originally, my Dad wasn't scheduled for another MRI until this month but he had to have an MRI in September before his seventh round of chemo.  That MRI showed some change but as mentioned in a previous blog post, we weren't sure if that change was due to growth or radiation scarring.  The surgeon and the radiologist both thought that my Dad should wait another two months for an MRI but my Dad's oncologist wanted another MRI done in one month.  Knowing about the tumour growth as early as possible will mean a less invasive surgery.

We ask that you pray for courage and hope as we prepare for another surgery and a change in chemotherapy.  And we ask that you also pray that the trial gets restarted as soon as possible and that my Dad gets accepted into the trial.

I think that my Dad summed it up pretty well in a text he sent out today: "We knew going in that the beast was going to be a beast!  It is!  But the beast can be defeated by our healing God."    

- Tara

Angels Ride Bikes and Pull Holiday Trailers

Summer is gone, already??

Daughter Erin dropped by for a visit Monday morning and was eager to talk about her new math program for this year and the work that she planned to start tomorrow to get things ready!  Then I read an article about how to ease your kids back into school.  This got me thinking about another “first” for me as this will be the first time in almost 50 years that September has not found me in a school building or educational endeavour.  As we weren’t sure how this transition would feel, Loretta and I have decided to make a short road trip in early September to Montana to drive the “road to the sun” and also enjoy some mountain time there and on the way back.  While we look forward to the trip, it is another reminder of how our daily rhythm of life has changed in the last months. We wonder if the present or new reality will ever feel “normal”?  

What continues to be “normal” for our family is the parade of angels that God sends our way on an almost daily basis.

Angels ride bikes and pull holiday trailers!!  We spent August 11 - 13 at the Enbridge AB17 Ride to Conquer Cancer.  Over 1,500 riders took to their trusty steeds to cycle over 220 kilometers of rolling foothill country to raise funds and awareness for cancer research.   I was honoured to have Doug’s Storm, a small and combative group made up of family and friends, ride on my behalf and raise over $20,000!  The Storm had a tremendous pit crew, with supporters actually outnumbering riders by nearly a 2:1 ratio.  While the bikers stayed in tent city on Saturday night, the Pit Crew circled up in a group camp area near the overnight location and enjoyed a fantastic BBQ potluck supper that evening.  

Tent City, Okotoks

Kase and Gus hanging at the campground at the potluck

Marijka, Kase, and Gus at the potluck

On Saturday I was alone in the truck, heading off to pick up a couple of riders, when I was struck by the intensity of some of the hills, especially when the ride was nearing its end and there was a strong headwind of nearly 40 km/h.  While I could continue to enjoy the panoramic views as I was climbing the hills, I judged by the body language of the riders and the halted bikes with bent-over riders that they weren't interested in the swaying canola fields or the manicured ranch yard.  Then I would crest a hill and imagine a blessed downhill stretch where the riders could “rest” for a bit.  Invariably I would find my eyes drawn upward to yet another hill to be climbed after the brief reprieve of a downhill.  It was during this up and down adventure that I began to see my journey as a cancer patient, and the importance of angel riders.  

Greg, Matt, Amanda, and Doozer.  

I noticed an interesting pattern emerge.  For riders on the way down the hills it was every rider for his/herself, as the pack spread out and riders pistoned their pedals to get maximum speed to ride part way up the next hill.  Riders going up the hills tended to work in packs, drafting with each other to conserve energy and offer encouragement that the hill would be conquered.  Riders bent over from exhaustion seldom stopped alone as fellow cyclists seemed to pull over for support (or maybe they were just looking for a good reason to stop and catch a breath?).  It became clear that the “pack” played an essential role in sustaining the struggling cyclist.  I am convinced that many a cyclist would not have completed the ride were it not for their support riders.  The beast of the ride was slain but only through the efforts of the pack riders.  

Reliving the hills

A welcomed pit stop visitor

Getting back on the road

I know that our journey has been made so much easier by the pack of angels that travels along with us. When we seem to be attacking hill after stinking hill in the treatment of the cancer, not sure if we have the energy or will to battle again, God seems to be putting just the right people on the bike next to us, and up another hill we go.

To all those who pray daily that the beast be slain and support our family on a daily basis, we offer our deepest thanks!

Interestingly, I noticed that the struggling riders were renewed as soon as they entered Okotoks and knew the ride had only a few kilometres left.  Many that had struggled up previous hills now powered up the last hill prior to the finish line.  The end in sight was a real gift and sparked a hard push to the end. The challenging part of our ride is that there isn’t a defined finish line that we need to make it to -  it can seem that the ride will continue to be hill after hill after hill after hill. This unknown is very challenging to prepare for and to pursue. So we beg that you continue to be earnest and diligent in your prayers and support as the toughest part of the fight is still likely ahead.  Please pray that the beast will be slain and that our family be hopeful and energetic in the battle.

A quick update on treatment!  I just completed another round of chemo and it has been more challenging than past rounds, with more intense nausea and fatigue.  The dose has increased and it is winning this battle but hopefully the hill will be soon be crested and I can coast down the other side before beginning rounds in September - January.

- Doug

MRI Results

“We” (Loretta and I are always accompanied by Tara, Leanne, and Erin) had our 2 month MRI consult this morning.  Last night I commented to Loretta that our three daughters are always very brave as these meetings are fraught with danger and heavy with fear but the kids are always there with us - what a gift!  It seems that Loretta and I always go with more troubled hearts than the kids  - not sure what that says about us…or them?  Hard to chalk it up to childlike faith when they have all passed the quarter-century mark.

We cried!  We laughed!  For those of you who are regular blog readers you will recall that in the last blog post my sister-in-law Joy shared some thoughts about the power of laughter and talked about how tears and laughter often go together.  This morning we cried and laughed together as we heard that the results from the MRI were all positive, and that once again I had won the “healthiest patient of the day award”, which was rewarded with another round of free chemo pills that I will start tomorrow - party on!  One day to breathe and enjoy!  It is still a weird feeling that I celebrate another round of chemo pills that my naturopath describes as “like drinking bleach”!   We continued our celebration by going for breakfast while we waited for the “witches” to brew their chemo concoction.  On a positive note, I have a 3 month period now without an MRI!  On another positive note, I gained a couple of pounds since the last weigh-in - it has been awhile since this made a doctor happy!

I am now sitting at the computer, in an otherwise empty house, thankful for a bit of quiet so that I can spend some time in prayer, thanking God for His healing miracle.  It struck me as interesting that there is a “tension” between what “we” are doing (diet, exercise, naturopath, etc.) and what God is doing.  While I know full well that all of the “we” stuff has been directed by God’s hand (written about in a previous blog on February 15), I wonder if I give God full credit for the healing miracle that has happened so far.  I wonder if you are fully convinced that your prayers have moved God to bring healing?  While thinking about this God directed me back to devotion #12 from a while back by Howard D. Vanderwell in his book called “Proven Promises”, a book written for those who are going through treatments for cancer.

Vanderwell talks about all the busyness of the medical treatments - tests, questions, treatment plans, surgery, post-surgery recovery, radiation, chemo, and more tests and consults.   Busy!  Busy!  Busy!  He then writes in regard to surgery:

“It then impresses me with how the hub-bub of activity suddenly stops after surgery.  And there is good reason for that!  Medical teams can plan surgery, and do testing, and carry out treatment.  But they cannot give healing.  Only God can do that.  And as soon as the surgery is completed, the patient is returned to his/her room and everybody waits…waits for God who alone can do the healing.

It’s marvelous how the body can experience healing.  It’s something that comes only from God. But it is easy to forget that.”

He then challenges us to “not forget all the benefits of the Lord, and high on the list of those benefits, as a matter of fact, right behind the forgiveness of our sins, is the healing that we experience.”

We have become quite good friends with Grant, our naturopath.  He reminds me on most visits that I am very blessed with my faith, my family, and friends.  I assure him that I know this and tell him that he doesn't even realize the depth of the support and care that our family receives. Thanks for the daily love and prayers you have extended to our family.  We treasure you and thank God daily for you.

This prayer was part of the devotion and I found it meaningful and ask that you pray it today as a means of thanking God for the miracle that is taking place.

Prayer:

“Thank you, Father, for the silent miracles that have taken place in those quiet hours when my (Doug’s) body experienced healing.  Place your healing hands on each of us who may have such needs.  For Christ’s sake, Amen.”

Keep praying that the beast may be slain!

Time for me to go chase some magpies away!