The Bell of Hope

Clang!  Clang!  Clang!

I never anticipated that the clang of a cow bell would ever sound so victorious!  Yesterday marked the end of round one of my treatments and, in keeping with the fine tradition of the Cross Cancer Institute, I happily rang the “Hope Bell” to mark the joyous occasion.  What a nice gift to share it with our “Breakfast Club” buddies who we have met in Unit One of the Cross over the last weeks.  We also had a very pleasant surprise last Friday when we found out that round one of chemo was also ending yesterday.  This was exciting to hear as the chemo drugs were beginning to wreak a bit more havoc on my system. With this being said, my side effects during radiation and the chemo were still relatively minor compared to so many others and we are so thankful for this answer to our prayers!

It was encouraging to hear from so many of you yesterday who reported hearing the bell all around Edmonton and from as far away as Vancouver. Thanks to everyone who paused for a minute to offer a prayer of thanksgiving. Thanks also to so many of you who prayed for a peaceful sleep on Sunday night, prior to the meetings and final treatment - our prayers were answered!

The day was very busy as we had to meet with a number of members of the treatment team.  First we met with Wanda, our clinical study nurse, for my exit interview, which includes quality of life questions and mental acuity tests, referenced back to my entry baseline. I passed!

Following that we met with Dr. Amanie, my radiation doctor, who indicated that things went very well with the radiation. We also had the opportunity to pepper him with questions about long-term side effects and recovery from the radiation. I discovered that I may have a built-in excuse about my short-term memory challenges from anywhere between 2 to 6 months - not sure who was more discouraged, Loretta or me!

We then snuck in my final blood test before heading off to the last radiation session!  The day was capped off by us delivering some Long-Term Disability paperwork to my doctors.  All within 90 minutes!  Kudos to the fine folks who work at the Cross - what a gift to have such caring experts so close to home and to have this whole process free of charge.

It was a blessing to not go to the Cross today and have what may be a “normal” weekly rhythm, whatever that is!  My new “normal” will now focus on rebuilding the body, soul, and  mind over the next month in preparation for round two of chemo which will start in early March.

Loretta’s new normal will now focus on spending more time at the office during tax season so she feels like she is on top of things and then come home to finely crafted dinners (apparently she feels that the culinary part of my brain has been positively affected!).

We also pray that a sense of everyday living returns for our kids, who have in many ways put their lives on hold for the past weeks.  They have made the past ten weeks tolerable, and in many ways, quite beautiful.  What a great gift to know that you are so deeply loved by so many!  Now that’s a bouquet of flowers.  Take a minute now to identify some people in your life who you deeply love that need to hear that from you today - and tell them!

Loretta and I have struggled with jealousy as so many other lives just seem to have gone on, back to normal!  I took the truck out for a quick spin today (just out of the garage, to park at the front) - what a fine feeling to do something as simple as that!  We hope soon to take off some of the immune system restrictions for public places so we aren’t as housebound - what a delight it will be to again go out for dinner!  What a masterpiece the brain is, yet I had never thought anything about all the incredible things it does.

As I reflect on this “normal” I realize how so much of my life has not focused on gratitude but on greed.  I just read this section from Space for God by Don Postema this morning (p. 53):

“Not much in our society stimulates us to such appreciation. … If we listen to all these voices, we won’t feel much gratitude. ... Greed grabs.  Gratitude receives. That’s why, in our society, gratitude seems like a radical reaction to life. Gratitude takes nothing for granted.”

Postema then challenges us, using John Calvin’s words, to be daily “overwhelmed with such great and copious effusions of God’s beneficence...and surrounded, whithersoever you turn your eyes, by such numerous and amazing miracles of God’s hand, that [you] never lack matter for praise and thanksgiving.”  In 21st century terms - “Live with an attitude of gratitude.” Postema suggests that if we live this way we will “awaken to the fact that your life is a gift.”

I am, I hope, learning this lesson.  It is very hard...

So what’s next for the blog?  Our next post will list all the treatment stuff that we have tried along with the conventional cancer treatments with the hope and prayer that others who walk this journey will benefit from our research. I will also attempt to provide a brief weekly update.

In the interim, we invite you join us in “stormin’ the gates of heaven”.  

- Doug